Is this REAL life?

You know sometimes I don't realize how great I have it. I mean I've always fared well because I've never been impoverished but never been too wealthy either. My finances are always right in the middle  but my friendships have not. When I was growing up I seriously didn't have any friends.

So I've been ok in the friend department. I mean I know a lot of people and they know me but I can't really constitute them as friend friends. But to me a true friend is someone you be totally yourself around and vise versa. It’s someone that picks up on your mood and has total patience with everything you do. It’s just someone who cares about you. Its crazy to think about but I mean how many people do you know who CARE about you? Who go the extra step and say, you don't seem like yourself what's wrong? Who says let's hangs out tonight or how was work today? 

I have had a few Friend Friends, one in elementary school, one in middle school, two or three in high school. One from high school we're still pretty good friends but have grown apart since we live far away from each other.  If you answered more than 3 then you’re only lucky golden nugget. (I'm a lucky nugget!)

texted me “Where are you?” I didn’t text her to tell her I wasn’t coming for lunch because I didn’t think she cared that much about my whereabouts or really cared about meeting up.  I texted her back

“Oh, I just didn’t feel like going to class today.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine just didn’t feel like it.”
“Okay see you later.”

I don’t know why her questions surprised me so much, but I remember thinking, none of my friends have ever asked that before. I mean it’s a perfectly average common question but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it is because after high school I feel like I lost all my friends. They all moved away and I stayed home. I feel like I've had to start over finding new people to hang out with, and finding other avenues. But last October (or November) I feel like I got a little lucky and from that day on I think I knew I had a friend, like a true friend. I feel lucky in a lot of ways because I feel like I have someone who is literally RIGHT THERE in my town, like 1 intersection and 1 left, then 1 right turn away. It may seem stupid because I’m still surprised all the time when she listens to my weird interests. I’m not used to having someone besides my mother want to see me and call me and talk to me. I've had a really good half year so far. It’s a weird time in my life, Scouts honor...

...but Yeah, I’ve got it pretty good.

*I wrote this last Thursday and I don’t remember why I was feeling so sentimental but I’m still grateful everyday for the awesome people in my life who help remind me of such powerful moments. 

Tomorrow I’m getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I’m a little nervous because I’ve never been put to sleep before. I’ve never even had an I.V. tube or anything. But this whole procedure is a good thing. I’ve needed to get these teeth removed for about a year now. One is actually trying to poke it’s little head out. I feel so anxious about it. My coworker Amber she said she felt like DAVID AFTER THE DENTIST. And I’m totally going to be obnoxious and ask to keep my teeth. They are my teeth and I have the right to take those little buggers home and inspect them. So I can’t eat after 4am which will be hard for me since I eat all 3 meals of the day between 4 and 4:45am. Just a normal day in Kim town.

Speaking of eating, I need to work harder at it. I went to give blood last Thursday and I denied for the 5^th time in my life. I’ve overcome the loop hole of being 5’4 and 120 pounds. My heart wasn’t racing, I wasn’t hungry. None of the tell tale signs of blood donor rejection. This one was a curve ball, LOW IRON. I’m no vegetarian. I love my red meat and cheese, and all the things that contribute to rising green house gas emission via farting. So I went away feeling defeated AGAIN! I’m going to try again next week and show them. They will take my B- whole blood and they will enjoy it and I will rejoice in their defeat/win with them! Muahahah muahahha!

I will try to keep you updated with all my wisdom teeth removal happenings, maybe even picture if you’re purrrretty and leave me a comment below!

 I think I came into post this wanting to write something else but I don’t remember.

G’Night Ya’ll!

k

"A clean kill. You are ready."

What is it about summer that always make me go a little crazy? I've been out of school for like 3 weeks now and I'm bored out of my mind. No doubt I have stuff to do but its like chores and boring stuff like that. I need to clean my bathroom and put away the laundry that's been sitting on my bed for days but for me it is so hard to get up and go and DO SOMETHING. I feel so restless. I want to drive across country and I want to fly to Paris or Sydney or something. This morning I actually looked up flight and hostel info making plans. The sad part is I don't think I'll actually go. I have too many restrictions and they all revolve around my fall school schedule. I can just see my parents now "well Kim you can afford Paris or Sydney, then I guess you can afford your tuition right?" Technically I haven't asked him, but I always expect the worst. The other thing is that I don't really have anyone to go with. I have a lot of great friends but their just like me with the responsibility of no spending money characteristic. I should just go an do it. I don't want to be afraid anymore.

Its quite the lovely weekend. How are you spending memorial day? Today I'm doing a couple of my favorite things like sitting by the pool tanning, eating popcorn and drinking an Arnold Palmer. I bought some floating pool chairs I need to blow up. I've never been a lay around the pool girl but gosh I've got the itch for it.

Last night I went to my friend Justin's house and we watched Avatar. That movie is so awesome. We watched it on blu-ray through a projector and wow wow wow! I want to be Neytiri! She's such a bad ass. My brother and I sometimes text each other the lines and he totally won with "A clean kill. You are ready." I usually give generic lines like "you like baby...always making noise." Anyways I caused quite the trouble because I literally got salt all over the room. It ended up on the cookie plate, on the ground, on the couch, just everywhere. So I'm no longer the trusted salt distributor.

Have any of you ever watched this show? Supermarket Sweep?  I remember watching it when I was younger and the other day it came to mind. The people are super weird. They are way odder then the Wheel of Fortune contestants. I wish it was still on air, than maybe I could compete on it, and then I'd have something to do this summer! Leave comments on things I could do this summer! I need to be busy!

k

The Decision

Last November I applied to 9 University's hoping that at least one would admit me. The 9 were: (in order of desire)

UCLA- because its like one of those things I always sort of thought would be cool to see and try. It has a reputation and it is just like this metaphor for success in California. It carries this instant respect around. I wanted it purely for bragging rights. Its petty and superficial but it is the truth.

The Ohio State University- because my Dad was born and lived in Ohio and he watches a lot of OSU football but he never went or anything, again just felt like going.

UCSB- Well this made sense to me since I live fairly close to it and it has a beach, and I could probably still work where I work and it's a UC.

*From here down were my most realistic hopes. I really didn't think I was qualified for the first 3.

Cal State Northridge- Pretty much the same reason as UCSB except it doesn't have a beach and though its not a UC it is still a decent school.

Cal State Fullerton- My brother lives near by and I didn't think I'd get into the first 4 so this was the first on the 2nd best list.

UC-Irivine-I have some friends who go here, and I really like them so I wanted to be closer to them if I could.

UC-Merced- My college counselor literally said, "If you have a pulse and 60 units you'll get into Merced." To that I said it be my last UC hope, here's $60.

Cal State Long Beach- I knew a girl who transferred there the year before and I liked her ex boyfriend so I wanted to see if I could get in, therefore justifying that I was just as smart as her and just as worthy of her ex boyfriend. I know, it was totally ridiculous but totally true and her ex boyfriend  turned out to not be worthy of me.

Cal State Channel Islands- My father was very insistent on this. They don't even carry my major.


So as a result I was accepted into 8 of the 9.  Which one rejected me? -Long Beach!
I guess it just proves that I'm not as smart as that one boys ex girlfriend. No wonder we never dated. It is for the best, I just had to choose between my top 4. Yup, I got into UCLA and OSU and UCSB and Northridge. I threw out Northridge and I visited UCSB but Isla Vista just doesn't suit me. My Dad took me on a trip to Ohio and it was wonderful. I mean it was so so beautiful and grand and historic. I mean so many positive adjectives to describe it but UCLA...I mean UCLA. C'mon. So I went to this weird Scholars day and it actually made hate the place. Like I feel like I wasted my whole day and now I can never get that day back.

Still though, I guess the good guy never wins because I submitted my Intent to Register to UCLA like 5 days ago? I don't remember.

I didn't tell anybody because the most important person I wanted to be excited for me was exactly the opposite. My Dad is just really disappointed I'm going to UCLA, not OSU and no matter how much it shouldn't matter, his opinion on my life matters a lot. I mean so many other people are proud of me, but no offense to everyone else in my life, it amounts to nothing when my father isn't proud of me. I guess that Patriarchal set of beliefs crept in somewhere in life.  (If any of you who know my Dad, please don't call him out on this. I don't want any drama. Thank you.)

I also didn't feel like telling anybody because it creates this instant pressure. It's like all eyes are on me and I don't want to let anybody down. I hate disappointing people and I think everyone knowing I transferring to UCLA makes me feel like I have a set quota to meet. Maybe I'm thinking too highly on myself. I don't feel as excited as I think I should. I haven't really seen the campus and I only know one person who goes there. I've never even watched a sports game with them involved. I'm just hoping I'll be excited soon and will like it when I get there.

So to my UCLA Alumnus Uncle Rick and all the other Facebook friends. That's my decision. I guess I could have just written " Going to UCLA" as a status update but I don't use this thing much and thought it might be fun.

Feel free to comment!


k