A lot of the time I feel like a loser. I mean why shouldn't I?
All I ever do is read and study and watch TV. I, on occasion eat and work but mostly I don't do anything...
I'm 21 years old and I still live with my Dad. I mean I love my home, and the city I grew up in and I'm not afraid to travel the world. But sometimes I feel like a loser, like someone who refuses to move forward but I just don't see that. Maybe I'm waiting for opportunity to strike me? But I don't feel like I ever turn down opportunity. I moved on-campus and I live there with 3 other girls who I didn't even know.(That's CHANGE, Trust me!) I live there 3 days of the week then I come home and spend the other 4 working/studying...you know all of the previously mentioned stuff.
But sometimes (and this was the major theme of last week was) I get bombarded with, "Why don't you move permanently to LA next year?" all the time. Everywhere I look. Why do you still work at the same place you have been since 2005? Why don't you have a serious boyfriend? Why don't you go out to Frat parties, or clubs, or bars, or other things!? --I like my job, i don't want one, i think frats are gross, and well I get drunk after like 2 drinks so I'm never really much fun out on the town. So much peer pressure but not the high school kind, the life changer kind.
Is it so wrong to like to watch movies, and old tv series? To Like Harry Potter, and Doctor Who, and Science Fiction? I don't think it is but I feel alone in my principles. Almost all of my friends don't really share to enthusiasm I have with a lot of my interests. I feel like that's why I don't get invited to a lot of parties and stuff. They talk about their boyfriends, and about work, but mostly I feel like I can't relate, the same way they can't with my Harry Potter fanship. I know that there are millions of people who love everything I love. But I just have trouble meeting them...so I feel like a loser because I don't know how to be my stereotypical age.
I like my parents, i miss them all the time. I love coming home and knowing my dad is upstairs in his office, watching baseball. And assuming my mom is baking something at her house because its the weekend. Its just hard because I run into a lot of judgment from people. I don't believe they mean it as hurtful or bullying, but it creates so many pressure points that I feel attacked. When I want to move out I will. When I want quit my job I will, but for the first time in a long time I feel satisfied with life. Days go by so fast, I don't need to always be doing something unique.
I just need reminders sometimes when I'm in the grocery store shopping with my dad for the week that I'm actually blessed to have such a rich life. I don't need to be a lone, but I can if I want. I'm 21 years old, that doesn't require me to be somebody different than I was when I was 20. I feel like I'm starting to realize that I like who I am, and I still feel a lot of peer pressure but it's ok to feel it, because at least I recognize the contrast.
Daily food gawker photo:
Doesn't that look divine??? nom nom
Buffy: season 3, episode 07
BEDA post #2
Guilty pleasure: english muffin (toasted/buttered) honey, cream cheese, strawberries
All I ever do is read and study and watch TV. I, on occasion eat and work but mostly I don't do anything...
I'm 21 years old and I still live with my Dad. I mean I love my home, and the city I grew up in and I'm not afraid to travel the world. But sometimes I feel like a loser, like someone who refuses to move forward but I just don't see that. Maybe I'm waiting for opportunity to strike me? But I don't feel like I ever turn down opportunity. I moved on-campus and I live there with 3 other girls who I didn't even know.(That's CHANGE, Trust me!) I live there 3 days of the week then I come home and spend the other 4 working/studying...you know all of the previously mentioned stuff.
But sometimes (and this was the major theme of last week was) I get bombarded with, "Why don't you move permanently to LA next year?" all the time. Everywhere I look. Why do you still work at the same place you have been since 2005? Why don't you have a serious boyfriend? Why don't you go out to Frat parties, or clubs, or bars, or other things!? --I like my job, i don't want one, i think frats are gross, and well I get drunk after like 2 drinks so I'm never really much fun out on the town. So much peer pressure but not the high school kind, the life changer kind.
Is it so wrong to like to watch movies, and old tv series? To Like Harry Potter, and Doctor Who, and Science Fiction? I don't think it is but I feel alone in my principles. Almost all of my friends don't really share to enthusiasm I have with a lot of my interests. I feel like that's why I don't get invited to a lot of parties and stuff. They talk about their boyfriends, and about work, but mostly I feel like I can't relate, the same way they can't with my Harry Potter fanship. I know that there are millions of people who love everything I love. But I just have trouble meeting them...so I feel like a loser because I don't know how to be my stereotypical age.
I like my parents, i miss them all the time. I love coming home and knowing my dad is upstairs in his office, watching baseball. And assuming my mom is baking something at her house because its the weekend. Its just hard because I run into a lot of judgment from people. I don't believe they mean it as hurtful or bullying, but it creates so many pressure points that I feel attacked. When I want to move out I will. When I want quit my job I will, but for the first time in a long time I feel satisfied with life. Days go by so fast, I don't need to always be doing something unique.
I just need reminders sometimes when I'm in the grocery store shopping with my dad for the week that I'm actually blessed to have such a rich life. I don't need to be a lone, but I can if I want. I'm 21 years old, that doesn't require me to be somebody different than I was when I was 20. I feel like I'm starting to realize that I like who I am, and I still feel a lot of peer pressure but it's ok to feel it, because at least I recognize the contrast.
Daily food gawker photo:
Doesn't that look divine??? nom nom
Buffy: season 3, episode 07
BEDA post #2
Guilty pleasure: english muffin (toasted/buttered) honey, cream cheese, strawberries
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